The muse for my writing was a client cancellation early this morning, who wrote “please don’t hate me, but I need more sleep.” First, I could hardly hate anyone for needing an extra hour of sleep. I completely understand. And, with the extra time that I now had on my hands due to the cancellation, I drove to the beach to drink my coffee in the gorgeous morning light as the sun rose over the Long Island Sound.
Goofy as it sounds, as I watched the gentle waves wash up on the shore and pull whatever rocks, sticks, and seaweed that might be on the beach into the water, it struck me that this is very similar to the way that optimistic people can take life in stride. As such an optimistic person, I can tell you, it is certainly not that I never get angry or annoyed, because I absolutely do, but such negative feelings tend to explode quickly like a firecracker, and then the ocean of love in my heart sweeps them away. I remember to breathe again, and balance is restored. It is also not that bad things never happen. I have had my legs knocked out from under me more times than I would like to admit. But again, the next wave comes along and picks me back up, I take a deep breath, and all is well.
Choosing excellent life guards in my life certainly helps. Inviting fun people to the beach is always a good plan. Spending time alone to meditate in the dunes keeps the equilibrium going. But really, it is the ocean of love in my heart. There just isn’t much room for the negative there. It gets pushed out by the waves.
How does one establish such an ocean within themselves? I think that partially it is the way that optimistic people are hardwired. However, I have absolutely seen others build it with consistent and gentle effort. My recommendation to these people has always been to make a gratitude list every day. If they are feeling overwhelmed by the negative or filled with fear, make a long gratitude list. Doing this daily reminds you how abundant the universe is. It also is a great reminder about all the people who treat you with kindness. Both are great tools in life. Also, when you are having a pity party in your head, stop immediately and find a way to help someone truly in need. This will turn any pity party around in a moment.
Smile more often. Spend time with people who bring out the best in you. Put your fears down and act when action is required. Nap when you can. Cry when you must. Laugh with children or others who adore you every day. Live with your heart wide open. You might get hurt a little more often, but you will also find countless ways to share kindness and warmth, which will draw more smiles to you…perpetuating the smiling and kindness cycle. Rinse. Repeat.
And if you forget or are feeling lonely or overwhelmed, call or email me. I’m always here and I love you. A whole ocean of love, and it never runs dry.